"Invite Them Over For Tea, Hilda"
	Kristoffer Lawson
	1 Jul 2003


It was called KL44-2. It was not a large planet. It orbited KL44 and was
quite far away from Rome. Two men stood on KL44-2 amidst a jungle of
plant-like organisms. Other even odder organisms walked around slowly,
looking curiously at the two men and their strange outfits. A dead, rusty
robot lay in a heap behind two rocks. Its head was bent. Its arm broken. It
had last loved a person forty three years ago.

    One of the men, Assistant Meddler Hartford, held a box in his hands. It
had many shapes on it. He fondled it lovingly. The other, Senior Meddler
Artechamp, stood with his eyes scanning the ground, fingers rubbing a small,
sweaty chin. He turned to Assistant Meddler Hartford and his eyes squinted
slightly.  
    
   "Would seem to fit the bill. You reckon it's a good spot?" 
   
   Hartford looked up from the AM equipment, his short black hair only barely
waving. "Readings seem fine anyway." 

	Assistant Meddler Hartford delighted in taking readings from his
equipment. So simple. So easy.
    
    Artechamp looked back to the ground as his hand reached deep into his
large coat pocket. From there he slowly pulled out a dull metal stick. Their
magic wand. He brought it close to his eyes to adjust the settings properly
before placing it on the ground, where it promptly began to work. Grinding,
grinding ... He then walked over to a small reflective sack and pulled out a
folded stool. He puffed while relaxing on it. Moments passed.

    "How's the wife?" Artechamp finally asked, obviously bored. He had lost
count of the jobs as the years had gone by. One patch after another. One
more small planet to tend to. Always on the move. Always so tired. 

     He hadn't been quite clever enough to make it to a desk job. The kind
where the wealthy make themselves more so, selecting profitable ventures and
engaging in other semi-exciting activities. He blamed the bosses for not
realising his full potential. Admittedly, he did have a good nose for
worthwhile investments. That was never the problem. He just didn't have the
brains to outwit the others at their game of snakes and ladders. His life
had been a stream of small, almost unnoticed disappointments. Still, the
desks had somehow convinced him to stay on board. His skills really were
considered valuable, as long as they stayed where they were told.

	   Artechamp's future was in retirement and eventual decease. His
children would enjoy a modest inheritance.

	Hartford was not built as heavily. He had joined Artechamp two years
ago, almost fresh out of college. While Artechamp had a certain wit and
charm about him, Hartford quite simply was dim. However, he really did love
what he was doing and enjoyed the new gadgets as they appeared. In all
likelihood he would be promoted within a year or two. One can't be picky
when it comes to people who like the job -- especially with his much
brighter wife being in the media business. She liked dim men. No awkward
questions. 

      His future would be anything his wife decided it would be.
	
      Half an hour had passed while the men sat on their stools drinking a
company-provided mixture of unknown substances generally known as 'Space
Tea'. It tasted horrible but made you feel good and was considered quite
essential. The stick in the mud had almost finished its work and Senior
Meddler Artechamp got up, grunted and began to inspect the results. 

	Hartford gazed idly while Artechamp found himself facing one of the
planet's animated organisms in the eye. Of course, it was now very still
indeed. The eye had been molded into a handsome, towering window, ready for
the expensive blinds which would be installed later. Squished, torn,
enhanced and manipulated. It seemed to look right at Artechamp with now
unmoving eyelids. A pupil was in the middle. 

	 The organism's underbelly had been stretched tight into a white
curving wall, slightly soft to the touch. One of the hind legs had turned
into a sturdy door frame while the other formed a crooked porch, both ready
to welcome in the fine neighbours. The front legs were nowhere to be seen.

      Other organisms had been pulled and twisted to form the rest of the
striking villa. Three floors, a magnificent roof and an oversized balcony
ready for morning tea. On top, an exaggeratingly elongated robot formed a
crooked chimney, just to add a bit of old-fashioned, nostalgic flavour. One
of its eyes had fallen off and the other looked at the pale, yellowish sky.
Serving again.

Artechamp marvelled at the splendour of the design -- you never quite knew
how it would turn out in the end. The Germans would be quite pleased, he
reckoned, amused at the thought that German tourists were always to be found,
whatever the time period.

      Hartford seemed less impressed. He had already turned back to his
beloved gadget, picking out new readings and new spots. "Oh, did you hear
what L.E.A. last did with Earth?" he asked in a placid tone.

       "Aye. Nice job, " said Senior Meddler Artechamp indifferently, before
continuing on to look for his next patch.