A unique relationship
    Kristoffer Lawson
    22 Nov 2004

(Taken from the auto-biography of James Lanvil)

One of the things many people do not know about my life is that, for a brief
period, I dated a fairy princess. I met her on a gray Sunday afternoon at
the bowling hall. Her leg was stuck in one of the holes of a ball I was
about to use and she squeeled as I almost pushed my fingers in. At first I
was quite shocked as never before had I seen a fairy princess and the last
place I expected to find one was in a bowling ball, but I soon got over that
as she was obviously in trouble. 

I took the heavy ball to one of the dressing rooms where I kept some oil
for my bike. She objected vocally but how else was I to get her out? I felt
that if I pulled too violently I might easily break her, so in went the oil.
After a bit of wriggling she managed to pull her now greasy foot free. She
looked quite impatient, but I had accidentally poured some of the oil on her
delicate wings and that kept her from flying off hastily. I guess you could
call it fate.

I carried her carefully to a sink and washed the wings clean. At first she
protested with a stream of words hardly fit for a fairy princess, but after a
while she calmed down. I guess she realised I was just trying to be helpful.

Afterwards we sat for a long while talking and getting to know one another.
She told me about her family and kingdom and life. It was all very
interesting. Of course I had heard of fairies before but, as mentioned, I
had never actually met one so it was all quite new to me. I never imagined a
fairy kingdom could be so intriguing or have such a complex political system.

Now when I say she was a fairy princess I am sure it generates images of a
sparkling magical creature, all smiles and merriness, but that is just the
way Hollywood prefers to depict them. Himmeli, as she was called, was a real
person with all the multiplicities that brings. Despite a life of apparent
opulance, she told me of many difficulties and worries. To be a member of
the royal family was a great burden and carried with it many endless
responsibilities and stresses. Even her manner was not what I had expected
of a fairy. She could at times have a sharp tongue and the most ruthless
sense of humour. She had a secret liking of the rock band Korn, which she
danced in the air to, and she enjoyed Asian action films. Indeed, despite
her size, there was never any assumption of me dominating the relationship.

We had many nice and memorable times and our bedtime capers themselves would
require a chapter of their own. In some ways it was fortunate that the
relationship never really got too serious. It was more about spending
lovely and enjoyable moments together for that short time we had. For it was
obvious that at some point her family and responsibilities would intervene.

When they did, she was grief-stricken. She sat on my lap, apologising with
small tears in her eyes for what she was forced to do. It left a lump in my
heart, but I knew there was nothing either of us could change. We had known
that from the very start. Still, when it finally hits you, it is as if
something inside you has been picked away.

I watched her for one last time as she slowly glided out the window. She
never looked back. Perhaps it would have been too difficult to leave if she
had. I have never seen her since. I just hope she is doing well and that her
kingdom has not disappeared in the rubble of human thoughtlessness. She was
a lovely personality.