Attack of the Crazy Dishwashers
Kristoffer Lawson
7th Nov 2002

Experimental dishwashers attacked monasteries all round the country. Monks
were trained to defend their precious buildings using weapons made of old
tin cans and soap boxes. However, the weapons were quite ineffective against
the carefully programmed machines. One by one they would slaughter the holy
men until there was but one monastry left.

Strangely enough the rest of the world did not seem to care much. To them
dishwashers were mere machines that would help get by with the constant
problem of dirty dishes. Not having to care was important. One could
use as many dishes as one wished and simply chuck all of them into a
dishwasher and press a few buttons. What happened then was of no concern
to the user.

The Monks of the Last Monastery sent out leaflets around the country, detailing
the problems caused by dishwashers. They also sent 'ambassadors' to all the
major cities. Unfortunately most of the civilised world was not interested.
After all, their dishes were clean and it was a known fact that monks were
slightly odd. All that celibacy could not be good for one's sanity, they
supposed.

After returning to their monastery, desperate after only minor successes,
they decided to build a plant which would begin to spew out dirty plates,
cups, glasses and cuttlery. This would hopefully keep the dishwashers busy
for a while and slow their efforts. While they hoped this might halt their
progress completely there was a general concensus that something else was
needed. Privately they all agreed that manufacturing dirty dishes could
not work forever.

It was decided that a small group of monks should be collected to start work
on the ultimate weapon. Something that would rid them of the dishwasher
threat for good. Something so powerful it would have to be created in utter
secrecy.

The factory scheme lasted surprisingly long. The monks managed to hold
back the dishwashers for several years -- more than enough time to complete
the ultimate weapon. The dishwashers advanced, the monks reinforced their
buildings and the secret group began to hoist up their creation. Just as the
dishwashers had finished destroying the first building, with decapitated
monks lying in streams of thick blood, the ultimate weapon was revealed from 
behind a secret door...



What was the secret weapon? Nobody knows. It didn't work.