If you’re looking for local love, Tinder is one of the most widely used apps for matchmaking around. Especially for those in urban areas, the law of numbers can dictate whether or not you will meet your Tinderella or Prince Charming by swiping right on many potential matches, and chatting most of them up.
But that’s the rub: It’s difficult to start a Tinder conversation, and can be nerve-wracking. Without inducing an anxiety attack, we’ve got a few tips to help you casually and calmly open a Tinder conversation with a potential love interest.
Chill out they are only humans
First and foremost, be casual. Exuding comfort in your own skin is important in real life romantic interactions, as well as online. Don’t start off with a cheesy pick-up line, unless cheesy is part of who you are. Your discomfort with a canned opener will shine through the messaging app if you’re not comfortable with what you’re saying.
Simply a, “Hello there!” or “Greetings!” can open a conversation. The more light and casual the better — it makes for a good first impression, and can lead to offline courtship.
Can you be unique?
Second, let your personality shine! Are you a musician? Do you know three languages? Or can you quote both all the Ghostbusters movies at the drop of a hat — including the new one? Whatever it is that makes you unique, whether it’s impressive or not, is a great way to steer a conversation with a potential Tinder date.
After you’ve shared some information about yourself and your favorite hobby, ask your messaging partner about what they like. Maybe you’ll learn something you have in common — or maybe you’ll learn about a whole new subject!
The key here is to make sure to continue to ask questions that are open ended, and can’t just be answered with yes or no.
Sharing fun information, specifically about things you’re passionate about, as well as returning the favor and asking about your mate’s, is key to establishing banter and a bit of initial trust.
Don’t be a creep
Last but not least, keep the overt sexuality out of the conversation. A cheeky joke or two is OK, but — even if you’re just looking for a lusty liaison, leave the pillow talk for the actual pillow.
As a rule, you never really know who you’re talking with on Tinder, and you don’t want explicit messages haunting you. Before you establish a relationship and trust with someone, it’s best to flirt, but not fish. If your Tinder match just wants to hook up, they will let you know. There’s no need to stoke those flames before you’re sure the person you’re chatting with is who they say they are.